I’m sure by now, you’re over “Year in Review” posts or reasons why 2016 was the worst thing since the time before sliced bread. I know I am. That’s why I wanted to write about something totally different: New Year’s resolutions. As I was writing my goals for 2017, I realized no one ever asks toddlers for their take on the upcoming year. I found this baffling because toddlers are some of the most exciting, loving, and honest people around.
That’s why this week, I sat down with the little kids in my life and talked about their New Year’s resolutions.
Here’s what they said: 
Protest brussels sprouts and all purple foods. No one should have to go through this. No one.
Eat play dough. Speaking of food, I want to develop a more sophisticated palate. I hear Hasbro is a classic, but I’m looking into organic and local options.
Find 5 new ways to annoy my siblings. Pulling their hair and jumping on them doesn’t make me happy anymore.
Learn to share. Unless of course, the situation involves any of my toys.
Binge watch PAW Patrol. Followed by Bubble Guppies.
Take the Bedtime Challenge. I’m jumping on the social media bandwagon and seeing how many times I can wake up my parents in one night. Seems fun.
Embrace my freedoms. By this I mean, my freedom to run around the house naked.
Finish the DIY projects I’ve started. Like getting a fresh coat of marker on the walls.
Figure out what’s hiding under my bed. I have a few theories, but nothing solid. Speaking of solids…
Be eco-friendlier by completely switching over to potties. Diapers aren’t sustainable. Going in the bathtub or on mom, however, still is.
Use mom’s smartphone less. Haha who am I kidding? I give this one two hours.
Throw the tantrum of the year. Event: I want a pink Elsa dress, not a blue one. Venue: Target. Guest list: Everyone in the cashier line. Time: When you don’t have any.
Ask mom and dad where I came from. I want answers.
New year, new toddler.
 Responses have been edited for length and clarity, mostly because they are entirely made up.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I hope you enjoyed reading this post as much as I did writing it. Aren’t toddler resolutions the best? If you have more, I’d love to read them in the comments below.