35 Thoughts I Had During a Blackout

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If it weren’t for electricity, we’d all be watching television by candlelight.
-George Gobel

The lights briefly flicker before going out. My world goes dark (not really; it’s 3pm), and the saga begins.

  1. I immediately regret not having all my electronic devices completely charged. You never appreciate what you have until it’s gone.
  2. Searches for flashlights. Searches for candles. Searches for a radio. Searches for reasons to continue living.
  3. This isn’t so bad. I’ll just have a nice cup of coffee and read.
  4. DARN IT! My Keurig doesn’t work!
  5. Our recliners are power-operated, so we can’t even properly relax with our legs up during the blackout.
  6. After an extensive search, to my deep dismay, I discover that we do not have instant coffee or any alternative to the Keurig. We are clearly not prepared for any major crisis.
  7. My life is becoming this AT&T ad.
  8. Is anyone else alarmed that this blackout is happening on the day of Trump’s inauguration? Not ominous whatsoever.
  9. The sun is going down along with my productivity.
  10. Ahhh so this is why everyone before the magic of electricity went to bed at 7pm.
  11. Muscle memory can be a good thing, except when you automatically reach for the light switch every time you walk into a room. Every. Single. Time.
  12. I don’t know what’s going on in the world. Do people still screenshot Snapchat pictures to put on Instagram? Is anyone talking about the House of Cards promo? Or the political underpinnings of White House fashions?
  13. Oh my gosh…how will anyone know I’m still alive?! WHY DON’T I OWN A FLARE GUN?
  14. Seriously though, next to kidney stones, a power outage is the best excuse to not do work.
  15. The storm raging on outside mirrors the one inside me… specifically the one in my stomach…the hunger pangs have set in.
  16. Every trip to the fridge is a mission in dexterity, efficiency, and speed. Not all of us live in New England, where the great outdoors provide a natural freezer during the winter.
  17. My little nephew is crying about how he can’t stream tv shows on his tablet. We connect on an emotional level.
  18. Contrary to popular belief, not all candlelit dinners are romantic. Some are a means of survival.
  19. I go outside to contemplate the heavens and awe a sky full of stars.
  20. Except it’s cloudy. So instead, I stare at clouds reflecting light from parts of the city that still have power. Those lucky jerks.
  21. We dust off monopoly. The situation is clearly dire.
  22. One of the kids plugs a charger into the wall. I laugh, neglecting to mention the 10 light switches I tried to turn on earlier.
  23. The more candles we light, the more we resemble a cult.
  24. It’s hour 8. Haven’t we suffered enough?
  25. Maybe I should become a morning person and wake up with the sun.
  26. No. That’s just the electricity-withdrawals talking.
  27. What am I doing with my life?
  28. I daydream about all the great television shows I could be watching right now if we had power.
  29. Maybe I’m relying too much on technology.
  30. Maybe I should cut back because this is kind of nice.
  31. After almost 9 hours without power, I can honestly say that I’ve really learned so much from– The water dispenser starts gurgling, then suddenly, the machines wake up from their slumber. The lights turn on, as if with a mind of their own. AHHHHHHHHHHHH. THE POWER IS BACK!!! 
  32. **Happy dance**
  33. **Happy dance**
  34. **HaPpY dAnCe**
  35. Gosh, we’re spoiled.

The storm on Sunday is predicted to be worse…. Prayers appreciated.

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