My BIG High School Scandal

Okay, I’ll start off by saying that the title to to this blog post is very misleading (a trend in a lot of my titles). I was a bookworm and a nerd in high school (not much has changed tbh). Let me put it this way, one of my favorite high school memories was representing Iran in Model UN. My friend and I even founded the Model UN club at our school. Yeah, I think that sums it up quite well.

Last week, I wrote about my frustrations keeping up with the news. That post reminded me of the time I spread fake news before it was cool…

My junior year of high school, I was friends with the school newspaper student editor. She had read some of my stuff and asked me if I would be interested in writing an article for the paper. I agreed, but with one condition: I would do it only if I could write a completely satirical piece. We had just finished a unit on satire and humor in my English class, so I wanted to imitate some of the concepts I’d seen in class (again, big indicator of my social group or lack thereof). Honestly, I don’t remember why she ever agreed to this, but I’m glad she did. I spent a lot of time internally debating what grand, newsworthy topic I would discuss in my debut article. After careful consideration, I settled on leggings and infomercials.  

The newspaper approved my article. When the paper came out, everyone who knew me thought this was the best and funniest thing ever. I got plenty of compliments. However, not every student realized this was a joke. In their defense, every other article in the paper was completely serious, and there was no sort of disclaimer/warning about my article. The editor informed me that she had received numerous complaints about my piece. Students were very confused, and a few even asked if the number included at the end was real. Basically, I got scolded for the article, and I was never invited to write for the school newspaper again. While I was disappointed at first, I then realized how crazy it was that people actually thought this was real. That people thought about calling in, and maybe, just maybe, someone was even sad it was all a ruse. Unfortunately for them, Jetsonic Leggings won’t be available for purchase anytime soon.

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JETSONIC LEGGINGS: MORE THAN A HOT TREND
September 2011-Featured in my high school newspaper

Are you tired of regular pants? Are you done with just being one more person in the crowd? Are you ready for something new?  TRY THE NEW AND IMPROVED JETSONIC LEGGINGS: QUANTUM ACTION EDITION!

Jetsonic Leggings: Quantum Action Edition have been all the rave for the past few years in cities across America like Milwaukee, Albuquerque, Berlin, and Choctaw! Dr. Alan Baloney explains why Jetsonic Leggings aren’t your average leggings. “Jestsonic Leggings: Quantum Action Edition are not your average leggings. They actually streamline a person’s natural curves by stretching very snuggly across the skin.”

Jetsonic Leggings are an all-American brand with its roots in Pho Knee science. Dr. Baloney elaborates on this issue in his article “Why all you need in life is a good pair of leggings,” in which he states, “Jetsonic leggings are not only fashionable, but they also improve a person’s health. For example, do you find yourself stressed about always having to change your clothes? Well, with Jetsonic Leggings: Quantum Action Edition, you can wear your leggings to school, follow it up with a run at the gym, and then just plop right in bed with never once having to change!”

Furthermore, Jetsonic Leggings: Quantum Action Edition through Pho Knee science, help align all the kaleidoscope pressure points along the femoral muscles to rejuvenate and invigorate the quadriceps, hamstrings, and gluteus maximus. Jetsonic Leggings are spread so tightly over the skin, they also tone the muscles—free of charge! Talk about an “on-the-go workout!”

People everywhere have been talking, tweeting, googling, binging, yahooing, and facebooking about Jetsonic Leggings: Quantum Action Edition. One happy customer from Idaho commented, “Jetsonic Leggings make me feel like Superman!”

Jetsonic Leggings come in all the season’s hot colors: black, white, fuchsia, mustard yellow, and aqua lilac.  As a client from Kansas said, “A color for every occasion! Actually, my favorite color is white because that way I can color coordinate my underwear to my mood of the day that way people always know how I am feeling. It is so convenient!”

What are YOU waiting for?! Walk in confidence. Walk in a new pair of Jetsonic Leggings: Quantum Action Edition and flaunt your every bump and wiggle to the world!

Call 1-800-JETSONIC and for five easy payments of $29.99 (plus shipping and handling) you can receive your very own pair of JETSONIC LEGGINGS: QUANTUM ACTION EDITION!

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6 thoughts on “My BIG High School Scandal

  1. Oh, I very much enjoy this! I do recall being on the newspaper staff when your article made it in. I am tickled by the idea that students who actually read our paper would think it was a real advertisement.

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