Getting the News in the Year 2017

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It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
-Jerry Seinfeld

Mary made a quick stop at a local grocery store to buy apples. She reached for an apple that seemed to meet her fruit standards. Immediately, she realized someone had already taken a bite of the apple. The apple slipped through her fingers as she cringed. She grabbed a different apple, then another, and then one more. To her horror, Mary discovered that all the gala apples had the same bite marks. The red delicious were left untouched. 

Mary stepped back, clearly disgusted. That’s when she saw a young man taking her picture with his phone.

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Goico Lou Will Live Forever in Our Hearts

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Nothing is more sad than the death of an illusion.
― Arthur Koestler

Mrs. Henderson was clearly losing the battle against her yard. Weeds had taken over most of it, and the overgrown grass hid a few newspapers scattered across the lawn.

Kate sighed as she picked up yet another newspaper on her driveway. She lazily threw it over the fence to join the others on Mrs. Henderson’s yard. To the dismay of both women, the Tribune never seemed to deliver the paper to the right house. Even after numerous complaints.

All Kate wanted to do was take off her heels and relax in front of the television with a glass of wine, which is exactly what she did. It had been a lousy Monday.

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A Guide to Love for Single Women: RomCom Edition

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I regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world operates according to different rules than my regular human world.
-Mindy Kaling

Are you ready to be the leading lady of your love life? Do you want to begin your “happily ever after” starting tomorrow?

With this handy new guide, NOW YOU CAN! For a limited time Valentine’s Day offer, I’m releasing a free excerpt of my forthcoming self-help book, From Plucky Comic Relief to Main Romantic Interest in 30 Days (Pre-ordering available soon). I’ve dedicated half of my life to exploring how Hollywood has provided all the answers to life’s hardest questions about love: “What should I wear?” “Will he like me?” and even the classic, “Should I bring a burger in my purse in case the line at the restaurant is 2 miles long because it’s Valentine’s Day?” Fret no longer. Below, I’ve compiled some of the best nuggets of wisdom romantic films have taught us over the years. You’ll have him saying, “As you wish” like Westley before you know it.

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Born in the US. Made in Mexico.

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“The U.S-Mexican border es una herida abierta where the Third World grates against the first and bleeds. And before a scab forms it hemorrhages again, the lifeblood of two worlds merging to form a third country — a border culture.

Borders are set up to define the places that are safe and unsafe, to distinguish us from them. A border is a dividing line, a narrow strip along a steep edge. A borderland is a vague and undetermined place created by the emotional residue of an unnatural boundary. It is in a constant state of transition. The prohibited and forbidden are its inhabitants.”

― Gloria E. Anzaldúa, Borderlands/La Frontera: The New Mestiza

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Follow-Up: What REALLY Happened to Trixie the Bunny

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Good friend for Jesus’ sake forbear,
To dig the dust enclosed here.
Blessed be the man that spares these stones,
And cursed be he that moves my bones.
-William Shakespeare’s Epitaph 

 

You can go through your whole childhood always believing one story. Then one day, you grow up, start a blog, publicly post said story, only to uncover a decade’s old mystery that is now threatening to tear your family apart.

Confused? Yeah, me too.

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I’m a little blog post

I’m a little blog post. I’m the first MTWD post of 2017, so that makes me special, right?

I’m a little blog post. I’m barely 95 words long! I even hav a little typo.

I’m a little blog post. There’s really not much to me. I don’t have a featured image or any tags. No one’s talking about me on social media. So how will anyone ever find me?

Perhaps no one will read me…

…but I’ll be okay….right?

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Sonder

Sonder

n. neologism.

“The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.”

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