Reflections of a Santa Claus Apostate

I HEARD the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

-Longfellow, “Christmas Bells”

How My Amazon Search History Is Ruining My Life*

*Maybe not “ruining my life.” More like “slightly inconveniencing me” but that just doesn’t have the same clickbait feel to it.