2018 in 15 Facebook Statuses

“I wasn’t a native in the land of the literal minded, but I enjoyed my time there.”

Michelle McNamara, I’ll be Gone in the Dark

Last year (Um, I guess two years ago…), I summed up 2017 in facebook statuses. I received several requests to dust off this old blog, and do it again. Thus, I combed through my newsfeed and picked a few of my favorites. Nevermind it’s 2019 already, here is 2018 summed up in 15 Facebook statuses.

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January

  1. Research is important.

For example, if I had done my research, I would have known the show I just finished watching never got renewed for a third season. Instead, the show ended with a marriage in shambles, a suicide, and Britain about to go to war with Germany.

February

2. Student emailing me because he was absent: Hi Shannon

Me: Hi Timothy

(His name isn’t Timothy… but hey my name isn’t Shannon)

March

3. Me: I don’t know how I’m gonna finish everything I need to finish.

Tom: You won’t.

#WordsOfWisdom

April

4. Me: Graduated magna cum laude from an Ivy League school, with degrees in literature and linguistics.

Also me: Can’t figure out idioms and says things like “He spilled the dirty laundry”

5. Cashier: Wow, are you a mom? Looks like your kids must really be wearing you out.

Me: Um…no. I’m just a grad student….

May

6. Started listening to an audiobook about the importance of sleep, and based on its recommendations, I should just give up grad school.

June

7. 4 yr old nephew randomly asks me: Hey tía, do you need to go to the bathroom?

Me: *Visibly confused* Um… no.

Nephew: What?! You guys ask me that.

July

8. Honestly, one of the hardest things about being Mexican is introducing your non-Mexican friends to Mexican candy, the pride and joy of your childhood, and them going “Ugh.. Blehhh why is this spicy?” 🙁💔

August

9. “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a linguist in possession of a good phonology/phonetics paper, must be in want of sounding out all the IPA transcriptions.” -Pride & Phonemes

September

10. Me: I could really go for a nap right now, but I can’t.

Tom: Yeah, instead you have to work for the next 75 years.

October

11. This Halloween, I scared my students by showing them how many tabs I have open on my computer.

November

12. I had to shoo a pigeon out of my apartment this morning and I don’t think I’m ever gonna get over it.

13. My apartment smells wonderfully like turkey… Of course, this is because I’m getting wafts of someone else’s thanksgiving dinner through the air vents.

December

14. Me in high school: 5 pages?! That’s so long.

Me freshman year of college: A 10 page essay! That’s crazy!

Me senior year of college: Oh cool, a 10 page essay, no biggie.

Me in grad school, at this very moment: On page 18 of my 15 page paper*… and still not done…

*syllabus states approximately 15 pages.

 

15. Woke up with the Baby Shark song stuck in my head.

I don’t have kids.

This wasn’t part of the deal.

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For all three of you who still sometimes read this blog, I wish you the best in this new year. May it be filled with many wonderful small moments, and a couple big ones just for kicks.


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The Year of the Unicorn (Frap): 2017 in 25 Facebook Statuses

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It’s the little things that make happy moments, not the grand events. Joy comes in sips, not gulps.

~Sharon Draper

As the year wraps up, I hope you’ve braced yourselves for the onslaught of “year-in-review” and “2017 bashing” videos and posts coming your way from all sides this weekend. I’ll let the big news agencies and everyone else cover the heavy stuff.

Instead, I’ve taken a much more lighthearted approach. From January to December, here’s my year, summed up in 25 Facebook statuses. I went through all my posts from the last year and picked my favorites. Never forget, 2017 was the year that Starbucks dazzled us with unicorn frappuccinos, the Harry Potter series turned 20, and poop emoji’s are still a thing, leaving sociologists and cultural analysists with plenty of material for future research.

Enjoy!  

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“What Kind of Dumpling am I?” and Other Important Life Questions

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Write it on your heart
that every day is the best day in the year.
He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day
who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Week 1 of 2017 is officially done.

I’m still thinking a lot about what this year has in store for me. 2017 is full of unknowns, which is exciting and nerve-racking all at once. However, sometimes waiting gets old. Sometimes I want to know now what my future holds. This whole “figuring-life-out” thing is not nearly as glamorous and romantic as in the movies. Can I at least have my meet cute already?

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Toddler New Year’s Resolutions

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I’m sure by now, you’re over “Year in Review” posts or reasons why 2016 was the worst thing since the time before sliced bread. I know I am. That’s why I wanted to write about something totally different: New Year’s resolutions. As I was writing my goals for 2017, I realized no one ever asks toddlers for their take on the upcoming year. I found this baffling because toddlers are some of the most exciting, loving, and honest people around.

That’s why this week, I sat down with the little kids in my life and talked about their New Year’s resolutions.

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