2018 in 15 Facebook Statuses

“I wasn’t a native in the land of the literal minded, but I enjoyed my time there.”

Michelle McNamara, I’ll be Gone in the Dark

Last year (Um, I guess two years ago…), I summed up 2017 in facebook statuses. I received several requests to dust off this old blog, and do it again. Thus, I combed through my newsfeed and picked a few of my favorites. Nevermind it’s 2019 already, here is 2018 summed up in 15 Facebook statuses.

⇔⇔⇔

January

  1. Research is important.

For example, if I had done my research, I would have known the show I just finished watching never got renewed for a third season. Instead, the show ended with a marriage in shambles, a suicide, and Britain about to go to war with Germany.

February

2. Student emailing me because he was absent: Hi Shannon

Me: Hi Timothy

(His name isn’t Timothy… but hey my name isn’t Shannon)

March

3. Me: I don’t know how I’m gonna finish everything I need to finish.

Tom: You won’t.

#WordsOfWisdom

April

4. Me: Graduated magna cum laude from an Ivy League school, with degrees in literature and linguistics.

Also me: Can’t figure out idioms and says things like “He spilled the dirty laundry”

5. Cashier: Wow, are you a mom? Looks like your kids must really be wearing you out.

Me: Um…no. I’m just a grad student….

May

6. Started listening to an audiobook about the importance of sleep, and based on its recommendations, I should just give up grad school.

June

7. 4 yr old nephew randomly asks me: Hey tía, do you need to go to the bathroom?

Me: *Visibly confused* Um… no.

Nephew: What?! You guys ask me that.

July

8. Honestly, one of the hardest things about being Mexican is introducing your non-Mexican friends to Mexican candy, the pride and joy of your childhood, and them going “Ugh.. Blehhh why is this spicy?” 🙁💔

August

9. “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a linguist in possession of a good phonology/phonetics paper, must be in want of sounding out all the IPA transcriptions.” -Pride & Phonemes

September

10. Me: I could really go for a nap right now, but I can’t.

Tom: Yeah, instead you have to work for the next 75 years.

October

11. This Halloween, I scared my students by showing them how many tabs I have open on my computer.

November

12. I had to shoo a pigeon out of my apartment this morning and I don’t think I’m ever gonna get over it.

13. My apartment smells wonderfully like turkey… Of course, this is because I’m getting wafts of someone else’s thanksgiving dinner through the air vents.

December

14. Me in high school: 5 pages?! That’s so long.

Me freshman year of college: A 10 page essay! That’s crazy!

Me senior year of college: Oh cool, a 10 page essay, no biggie.

Me in grad school, at this very moment: On page 18 of my 15 page paper*… and still not done…

*syllabus states approximately 15 pages.

 

15. Woke up with the Baby Shark song stuck in my head.

I don’t have kids.

This wasn’t part of the deal.

⇔⇔⇔

For all three of you who still sometimes read this blog, I wish you the best in this new year. May it be filled with many wonderful small moments, and a couple big ones just for kicks.


If you liked this post and would like to keep up with Make the Welkin Dance on social media, please like my Facebook page and follow me on Twitter @WelkinDance. Who knows?!? You might even get free coffee! Okay, probably not from me, but each day carries the possibility of free coffee from somewhere…

Advertisements

Somewhere Outside Munich

DSCN3186.JPG

I somehow only took two pictures in Munich, and this was the slightly better one…


My whole body aches. My neck, in particular, is sore from resting my head on the car window. And then… then I remember that I’m in Germany. I’m in Germany, traveling with some of my favorite people. The excitement wakes me up, and my exhaustion wanes slightly.

Continue reading

The Year of the Unicorn (Frap): 2017 in 25 Facebook Statuses

IMG_4315

It’s the little things that make happy moments, not the grand events. Joy comes in sips, not gulps.

~Sharon Draper

As the year wraps up, I hope you’ve braced yourselves for the onslaught of “year-in-review” and “2017 bashing” videos and posts coming your way from all sides this weekend. I’ll let the big news agencies and everyone else cover the heavy stuff.

Instead, I’ve taken a much more lighthearted approach. From January to December, here’s my year, summed up in 25 Facebook statuses. I went through all my posts from the last year and picked my favorites. Never forget, 2017 was the year that Starbucks dazzled us with unicorn frappuccinos, the Harry Potter series turned 20, and poop emoji’s are still a thing, leaving sociologists and cultural analysists with plenty of material for future research.

Enjoy!  

Continue reading

Pst… Pst…

IMG_3359

“We are like children building a sand castle. We embellish it with beautiful shells, bits of driftwood, and pieces of colored glass. The castle is ours, off limits to others. We’re willing to attack if others threaten to hurt it. Yet despite all our attachment, we know that the tide will inevitably come in and sweep the sand castle away. The trick is to enjoy it fully but without clinging, and when the time comes, let it dissolve back into the sea.”

Pema Chodron

Continue reading

The Mix-Up

Brother: I read your blog about healthy eating. Those are my favorite kind, the ones that are short and relatable.

Me: Thanks for reading my blog. I don’t always know when you read it.

Brother: Yeah, the ones about swimming too, and the one about the beach.

Me: Beach? Which one are you talking about?

Brother: The one with the couple having sex on the beach.

Me: What? I didn’t write about that on my blog.

Brother: Yeah, yeah you did. And there were like Pokemon Go players too or something.

Me: Wait… Do you mean the story about the blind man and his wife at the marina, the one where she’s describing to him what she sees?

Brother: Yeah!!! That was the one.

Me: HAHAHAHA I can’t believe those were the two stories you mixed up.

Brother: Hahaha!

Me: I mean, I did tell you a story about seeing people having sex on the beach. And I guess both stories involve water and a couple.

Brother: I’m sure they were at two very different stages of their relationship.

⇔⇔⇔⇔

So yes, there was one time I saw a couple having sex on the beach. And no, I don’t mean the cocktail.

It happened about six months ago. They were on the side of a sand dune, right by the entrance to the beach. The audacity. It was a cold day. The beach wasn’t crowded, but people had still come out to see the sunset. Several people honked at them, others yelled, and a lucky few were oblivious to the live performance.

I had been a part of the few in ignorant bliss. That is, until my other brother told me, “Hey Evelyn, did you see that couple having sex over there?” Because that’s what you do when you see people having sex on a public beach:

You tell your little sister so she can be scarred for life.


If you liked this post and would like to keep up with Make the Welkin Dance on social media, please like my Facebook page and follow me on Twitter @WelkinDance. Who knows?!? You might even get free coffee! Okay, probably not from me, but each day carries the possibility of free coffee from somewhere…

Will My Grandchildren Know?

stephanie-mccabe-24620

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

America, The Beautiful Lyrics by Katharine Lee Bates – 1913

⇔⇔⇔

Every now and then, my father will tell me a story about my grandfather that will surprise me. Like how he got shot once, fled on horseback, and even though he reached safety, the bullet was never taken out. It’s moments like that one when I realize my grandparents had a very different life than I do.

I tend to reflect a lot on my family history, mostly on the vast life differences between generations. I especially thought about this during my college graduation. As I sat on the metal chairs facing the commencement stage, among all the other graduates, I kept thinking: How did I get here? 

Continue reading

Manager’s Special

“‘Fat’ is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her. I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’?”

—J.K. Rowling

I always felt like if I didn’t mention it that maybe people wouldn’t notice. Or it could just be this sort of polite secret, like, open secret that we didn’t address, because it felt so shameful. It just felt impolite to talk about, like me not wanting to burden you with my failure. […] Yeah, and just give me a little more time. Let’s not talk about [my weight], and I promise I’ll fix it. […]

The way that we are taught to think about fatness is that fat is not a permanent state. You’re just a thin person who’s failing consistently for your whole life.

—Lindy West on This American Life “Tell Me I’m Fat” with Ira Glass

⇔⇔⇔

A couple months ago, I stopped by a local gym to get membership prices. I had heard it wasn’t too expensive. Plus, the gym had an indoor pool, which was a big selling point for me since I didn’t want a repeat of last year’s crazy tan lines. (They were pretty bad, like random-people-stopping-and-staring bad.)

Continue reading